goodbye 2013

so, it's retrospective time here at pale with horror. 2013 has been a pretty rough year for me. the death toll is up this year among family and friends, as well as family of friends. there were highs, there were lows, but it mostly is a blur. sadly i feel like it should still be september - the year has just gone by that fast for me. i'd like to say that i spent the year having so much fun that it went quickly, but it is more that it has been a blur of work.

.:more after the jump:.

kindnesses

as i was walking home today from my bus i noticed two men wandering along one of the new bus stops on broadway. they encountered the temporary barrier and walked around it, then down the bus stop as i passed them along the sidewalk and went across the street. i kept an eye on them while i waited for the light to change so i could continue on my way.

they came to the end of the bus stop and could not decide where to go at first. i decided to go back and see if they needed help. as i crossed back over the street and headed towards them they left the stop and headed back towards the sidewalk, but instead veered aside, traveling up the bike lane, lost. i sprinted to catch them before they encountered a vehicle and tapped the taller man on his arm politely. he took my hand and then told his friend to talk to me.

i asked if they needed help to find where they were going and he told me that they were attempting to find 8oz burger bar. i told him that i could take them there and led them to the sidewalk then down to the intersection where we crossed union and broadway. along the way the man asked me what was going on that had caused them such confusion. i confirmed that there was construction going on and that they had ended up at a bus stop across the bike lanes from the sidewalk. it's all kind of confusing, i told him, and that we are all getting used to the new changes. he told me that they were going to 8oz for the first time and i told him that the food there is delicious which he was glad to hear.

we arrived at the restaurant doors and they thanked me as we parted ways, strangers still, but two nice men in my memories, a polite touch and kind voice in theirs.

in this season of thankfulness, warm fuzzies, and gift giving i urge everyone to remember to be kind, notice when others need help, and to take the small amount of time out of your life to be there for someone who needs it. we make the world a better place by our actions, no matter how small. even a smile can make someone's day all the brighter and change it for the better.

fireball

as I started my walk to the bus this morning, a flickering in the east caught my eye. as I watched, the blue-white flicker approached, hazy and softened through the light cloud cover, but burning bright at its heart. in a matte of moments it had streaked directly above my head and passed along to the west on its journey - down through the atmosphere and into the ocean or skipping past and spinning back away into the solar system, I do not know. perhaps it burned so brightly that it expired before touching down, it's heart gone cold.

on new phones

so, all i want is a new phone. i've had mine for four years and was going to get a new one last year until my brother took my upgrade (one of the few times i've given in on something, mostly because i just wasn't in the mood to argue). so i put off getting one as i would need to use my dad's upgrade, but we kept not having time when i was home and i decided to wait for the next version as there were some things i did not like about the newest out at the time.

now here i am and i can't get the phone i want because no one has it in stock. i don't want the phone so that i can have the newest gadget that's all bright and shiny and use it as a status symbol - i want the fucking thing because my current phone needs to be replaced. what happens, though? no one knows when they'll get one in a shipment because they are sent random boxes of things. (yes, yes, supply and demand and all that total cock of bs.) the assholes of the world are allowed to walk into a store and purchase more than five phones so that they can then go and resell at outrageous prices. the stores can't reliably get anything in. i'm left in a bitchy mood for the past week because i can't get myself a phone. ordering online is out because of the hassle that would cause with the phone numbers involved in the upgrade and not wanting to change our service agreement.

ugh!

august fashion

it's been a while since i've really made any posts here...i really want to get back to at least one good one a month as it helps to get my thoughts out there (even if only for myself). for now, you get a photo post! i got to have a good time earlier last week with a friend in town and play with our c-lines together. dante and faust are mine, but the chloe is her's.

working hard...

i feel like i've been on the go for months now without respite. the few times that i get to just sit back and relax without working on something are usually simply moments that i am completely brain dead. i feel like i've been neglecting friends (for the most part since there have been things going on that have involved friends, so obviously not in those instances) and i seriously cannot remember the last time i didn't have something going on. there have been a few times that i've had some "me" time that i managed to not have something niggling at me that i needed to do, but they have been few and far between in recent times. aaaaaaaanyway, just want my friends to know that, if i have something for you, if we keep saying we need to hang out, or if we simply haven't connected in a month or three, i miss you and hope that we can soon! *goes back into her hobbit hole to work on more projects that need to be done in the next 3 weeks*

sometimes...

i wish i could change the world and how things are. things need to be better, but in the best of ways. i can't keep dealing with the bad...i'm gonna break one of these days.

ugh~

why does life seem to be so crazy lately? i feel like i've barely kept above water with everything going on, but it's been more that i'm just exhausted and somehow my evenings just go by way too fast. i mean really, how is it the end of may already? wasn't it just january? *sigh*

things i have to do in the next month: update uncanny thread on doa (already a week behind due to vacation and time just disappearing); make dummy of sard body for sewing; design pants for sard body; pack to (FINALLY) move back to my apartment; view space for uncanny with others; neighborhood garage sale day; move; unpack; release more information about things at uncanny; doll show; somehow fit in seeing friends and working on other projects; try not to say fuck it all and hermit.

yup, lots of stuff and somehow i'll make it through...oh well, at least all the stuff i've been doing at work has gotten me first runner up to employee of the month for march (or was it april? seriously, time getting away from me) and, just this past week, a promotion to senior customer service associate. no raise or really any bonus for any of it until the end of the year (thanks parent company!), but the recognition is good. right? sure.

my piece...

over the past 13 years we have become a society steeped in fear; overshadowed by nebulous threat; and fed on hatred. we are told that there are those out to get us and that, because of that, it is okay to act with whatever malice we feel towards those who are different. we place blame and point fingers, being told it is okay to do so and to ignore our own contributions and faults. we are all guilty of some form of tacit acceptance of the way things are today, even if we are outspoken either to the good or the detriment - intelligently in our rhetoric, or blindly in our lashing out.

.:more after the jump:.

sometimes i write things

Strong, tanned fingers marched along pale cream curves to end their journey in a dark ebony forest. There they tangled and caught, pulling back the waves of silken hair to expose a soft expanse of porcelain neck. Lips brushed along that expanse and moved in a slow beat down to where neck met shoulder. There they leaped from the ledge of collarbone to tease pert nipples with tooth and tongue. The fingers trailed across salt white plains, edging ever closer to the lush jungle and its hidden spring of pleasure.

.:more after the jump:.

another year gone...

another year older...yay for yet another birthday. at least this year i have a job. it was rather uneventful and boring as per usual. people always seem surprised that my friends aren't taking me out and that i'm doing nothing for it. then i basically just say that it's valentine's day and everyone is busy doing other things and the look appears on their face as they realize that everyone is off doing other things.

add to this that the meet for this weekend was cancelled and i can't think of anywhere to have it instead since chinatown is out due to new year celebrations. *sigh* oh well, guess i don't need anything to really look forward to or do this weekend. i don't really need to see friends that i only get to see maybe once a month. u_u

oh well. off to bed i guess. another birthday down with only calls from my family and some platitudes from people at work who were told it was my birthday and the usual small round of notes on facebook. i know people mean it, but after all these years it just feels so empty. "happy birthday (i have better things to do)." >_>

i've not been very active here or anywhere really except for keeping up with my post a day on tumblr. there really hasn't been much going on in my life anyway. christmas was good, cons are coming up in march, work is work and has taken over my life. i'm slowly working on uncanny for this year as well. i had a three day weekend this weekend and didn't really accomplish anything. yeah, that's how awesome my life is. i've been accomplishing less in my life than when i was unemployed a year ago. such a cheery thought.

.:more after the jump:.