amber finally completed!

so it ended up taking me about three days...after a year and about five months since her arrival. -_- anyway, i used an airbrush for the first time ever when doing her. my application to a 3-d surface leaves something to be desired, but i did as well as i expected. had to redo everything, though, since the first attempt i was trying stuff out and being lazy by the end. yeah...anyway, everyone who has seen her face and commented has said how much they really like her. :D on top of that, now that i have her restrung, she's standing better and more solidly than before, and her arms are holding better. i know it is a combination of tightening her stringing some and the msc, but the modification that i made to her knees (especially the right one) have helped immensely and she is standing pretty much like a rock. :) so happy to finally have her done...and a special thanks again to her "fairy godmother" miss ally for helping me to obtain her two years ago now (has it really been that long?)!

.:more after the jump:.

year three anniversary

so today was the end of year three and the start of year four. i can't believe that i've had winter and azerian for this long already! i've spent today and yesterday working on my unnamed amber. did my first and second airbrushing attempts on her. definitely a better job the second time around. XD i am fudging my rules for the yearly photo a little and will be having some work finished after the anniversary in order to have at least one more doll that is currently in bits back together for the photo. also, edric is still away in canada getting all pretty, so he will likely not be in the photos (unless it takes me 6+ months again).

anyway, just wanted to put up a quick note to celebrate! ^_^

annihilate me

i'm hitting a new low tonight for the first time in months. i don't care if i feel selfish for telling friends that i'm depressed or putting it up on here (like anyone even looks at this thing except me and random searches pulling up random things i've linked to). at this point, i'm pretty down in the dumps. it's that time of year that i'm ready to just say fuck it and want everything to just end. the worst time of year for me. *sigh* fuck.

i feel like a bitch even putting it out there that i don't feel happy. it's such a comfortable mask to hide behind pretending for the world that i'm strong and happy - or, well, normal and somewhat satisfied. it feels like i'm trying to get some attention, but at the same time this makes me feel worse. why can't things be fine? why can't i feel like there's no pressure? why can't i have the basic things that others take for granted?

the pressure is building up...one of these days it's going to annihilate me...

some authors

so, i told a friend i'd put up a list of authors that i like. here is a list in no particular order and just off the top of my head (for the most part).

.:more after the jump:.