ch-ch-ch-changes

the past few months have been quite hectic and i can't believe that they're gone. the end of september seems like such a long time ago, and yet it feels like the interceding time has gone by in nearly the blink of an eye. there's so much that has happened...

since the announcement that the company was purchased and we were all out of our jobs, the atmosphere at work got more and more heavy and depressed. for the month following it, everything was up in the air - no one had any answers or dates for when things were to happen. people were looking for new jobs with little or no success. some found jobs rather quickly (typically the IT set). we had a class about resumes given by an external company. i went and have been depressed about my resume ever since, but have to keep telling myself that each instructor told everyone different things according to the notes we all compared. plus the woman in charge of my group seemed more like she was new and used to dealing with people that are generally at higher levels in companies. eventually they told us about the 30 day wait that had to occur. it got closer to that date and we still didn't know when things would end, what our severance would be, or what who would stay behind on the transition team. finally we were told a tentative date for the completion of the sale. the day before it was supposed to occur we were told we would find out all of the information that day.

we didn't.

certain people found out that day. everyone else was told in a somewhat harsh manner the next day that they were not on the transition team and that, for them, it was going to be over as of the day the money exchanged hands. i came out of that meeting and, within a half hour, was on the transition team as my coworker that was chosen for it got a job that morning.

a week later it was over. the sale completed, it was announced. there was drinking at work for a little bit and then off to the bar for even more courtesy of the company. everyone said their goodbyes as well they could. there were some tears, some drunks, and some old faces come to visit. the next morning it was quiet and lonesome at work. the people from the purchaser had been a hassle the day before and now were simply bothersome. they were in the transition team meeting, they asked questions repeatedly that were answered the same each time, and those of us remaining had to put on a smiling face and be nice to them. it was tiresome.

the uncertainty and non-clarification of things continued. the HR manager didn't do anything and was wholly ineffectual, so was no help with anything. my group amused ourselves a day or two with clearing some things out of desks and arranging them in collections on other desks for fun. it is amazing what some people left behind and the condition they left things in. there were wayward plants that, when we found them a week after the sale, were sorely in need of watering. we collected so much company swag - towards the end we found even more of it. almost $9 was collected in change. even having done all of this in a few days, i had busy days. i hadn't really slowed down much in the month we waited for the sale to happen - though there was a week that i didn't stay at work the full day for most of the week as a friend was in town visiting that i don't see often. after the sale i had only a few days with not much to do, only one with nothing to do, and the rest right up until the end were filled with meetings and work.

things were learned. anger was had. and then it was over. i've applied for unemployment as i did not find a job - in fact i had taken some time off from looking as it was not improving my mood and (for that initial month) i did not know when i would be available to work. i had one phone interview that came out well, but the second one was cancelled last minute as the HR rep working on the job was suddenly told that the position was filled. i did receive a letter of recommendation from one of my client contacts quite unexpectedly after they were told that the company was sold, and another contact at a different company offered to be a reference if i ever need it. she also asked if i wanted to move to florida to which i had to reply no. i've now been applying to more jobs, mind you, but the pickings are scarce as i cannot allow myself apply to many - if any - jobs that have starting wages listed for less than i made. that's not even something that stems from a lifestyle that i'm accustomed to, it stems simply from the fact that, making what i made 7.5 years ago, i would not be able to survive in the city. sad but true. i have several months and then i will be to the point that i will have to move home or face having not enough money and being stuck in a bad situation.

my friends, however, are happy that i will be doing more doll clothing. i think that they are hopeful that i will make tons to sell - they're quite forward with telling me that they will pay for it. ha! thankfully i will now have plenty of time to catch up on the few sewing projects i do have and need to complete, as well as working on things like cleaning up my apartment and the myriad other doll and non-doll projects that i have been putting off for years. the stack of books needing to be read will dwindle. the clothing needing to be tossed or given away will be sorted and sent out. the boxes full of things that have gone by the wayside will be gone through and repacked. the documents will be reviewed and filed away. slowly my life will be sorted, nipped, and organized. i have already taken care of some things in the past two months that have really hurt the pocket, but they had to be done. already they are for the better and it is smarter of me to have put out the money now rather than later regretting that i did not or being forced to put it out when i have less or nothing coming in.

i still haven't had any breakdowns and it doesn't seem all that real just yet. i'm thinking it will hit me in another week and a half when i've returned from the holidays and am not having to be up and going to work. currently it seems more like i am on vacation than anything. anyway, hopefully i am not unemployed for too long or else i am sure that i will start to go stir crazy!