thoughts

this year has been so busy that i've been missing many things. i've found that i've been less motivated to actually start on projects and actually finish things. so far this year i've spent the first three months stuck in project hell, then on post-project hell, followed by two trips, a number of work changes, catching up on work things, a really not fun work thing (that was thanks to a 3rd party software i work on), and then finally by a situation that has now been nixed but leaves an aftermath. top all of that off with various responsibilities, some tragedies, and my overall lack of energy and i've not really spent time doing anything. i sit and stare at facebook and maybe one or two other sites. i watch the tv. i try not to fall asleep at random, then i do just that. i dream things - both waking and asleep.

so far this year a small number of dolls have come in, a number of event heads have joined the pile, and only two dolls have been painted by me. i've not really sewn for them. i've bought some random things here and there for them. uncanny didn't happen as i have no time to plan it anymore so handed it off to someone else at the very start of the year. one of my dolls got painted by meiselmaus. (i probably totally spelled that wrong...most people would know them as something else anyway.) i miss the dolls despite them being all over the place in my tiny apartment.

i haven't edited photos for months. don't even have some of them moved to my computer from the cameras yet. i'm holding out hope that i will get to them in the ever-present "soon".

i've come to the conclusion that i need to figure out a strategy to get some things done that i want to do. there are plans afoot for next year and i want to be able to have some projects done in time for them. i need to reengage and reconnect with things in my life outside of work and simply slogging along in the ruts.

you don't need to care, but thanks for reading if you did. i just needed to get this out there for me. <3 p="">

ugh~

why does life seem to be so crazy lately? i feel like i've barely kept above water with everything going on, but it's been more that i'm just exhausted and somehow my evenings just go by way too fast. i mean really, how is it the end of may already? wasn't it just january? *sigh*

things i have to do in the next month: update uncanny thread on doa (already a week behind due to vacation and time just disappearing); make dummy of sard body for sewing; design pants for sard body; pack to (FINALLY) move back to my apartment; view space for uncanny with others; neighborhood garage sale day; move; unpack; release more information about things at uncanny; doll show; somehow fit in seeing friends and working on other projects; try not to say fuck it all and hermit.

yup, lots of stuff and somehow i'll make it through...oh well, at least all the stuff i've been doing at work has gotten me first runner up to employee of the month for march (or was it april? seriously, time getting away from me) and, just this past week, a promotion to senior customer service associate. no raise or really any bonus for any of it until the end of the year (thanks parent company!), but the recognition is good. right? sure.

i am now older

tick tock goes the clock and i get older until it stops.

.:more after the jump:.

been a long time

so i've been busy the past few months...missed a month of posting anything here for the first time in a long while. but, well, con and then uncanny dream took over my life. now life is just being blah...lots to do, little motivation. XD

.:more after the jump:.

uninspired and uninspiring

i can't help but feel like there's no point for me to even try sometimes. even on as nice and relaxing a day as today the feeling persists.

.:more after the jump:.

amber finally completed!

so it ended up taking me about three days...after a year and about five months since her arrival. -_- anyway, i used an airbrush for the first time ever when doing her. my application to a 3-d surface leaves something to be desired, but i did as well as i expected. had to redo everything, though, since the first attempt i was trying stuff out and being lazy by the end. yeah...anyway, everyone who has seen her face and commented has said how much they really like her. :D on top of that, now that i have her restrung, she's standing better and more solidly than before, and her arms are holding better. i know it is a combination of tightening her stringing some and the msc, but the modification that i made to her knees (especially the right one) have helped immensely and she is standing pretty much like a rock. :) so happy to finally have her done...and a special thanks again to her "fairy godmother" miss ally for helping me to obtain her two years ago now (has it really been that long?)!

.:more after the jump:.

seems like forever

so, it seems like forever since i've written anything here - and, really, it has been. lately it just feels worthless to do much, if anything, here. i haven't been editing photos to put up (which i should) and i haven't been taking any new ones really (again, i should, but weekends are the only time i have when it is light out at this time of year and i am typically trying to get other things done). *sigh* whatever.

.:more after the jump:.