thoughts

this year has been so busy that i've been missing many things. i've found that i've been less motivated to actually start on projects and actually finish things. so far this year i've spent the first three months stuck in project hell, then on post-project hell, followed by two trips, a number of work changes, catching up on work things, a really not fun work thing (that was thanks to a 3rd party software i work on), and then finally by a situation that has now been nixed but leaves an aftermath. top all of that off with various responsibilities, some tragedies, and my overall lack of energy and i've not really spent time doing anything. i sit and stare at facebook and maybe one or two other sites. i watch the tv. i try not to fall asleep at random, then i do just that. i dream things - both waking and asleep.

so far this year a small number of dolls have come in, a number of event heads have joined the pile, and only two dolls have been painted by me. i've not really sewn for them. i've bought some random things here and there for them. uncanny didn't happen as i have no time to plan it anymore so handed it off to someone else at the very start of the year. one of my dolls got painted by meiselmaus. (i probably totally spelled that wrong...most people would know them as something else anyway.) i miss the dolls despite them being all over the place in my tiny apartment.

i haven't edited photos for months. don't even have some of them moved to my computer from the cameras yet. i'm holding out hope that i will get to them in the ever-present "soon".

i've come to the conclusion that i need to figure out a strategy to get some things done that i want to do. there are plans afoot for next year and i want to be able to have some projects done in time for them. i need to reengage and reconnect with things in my life outside of work and simply slogging along in the ruts.

you don't need to care, but thanks for reading if you did. i just needed to get this out there for me. <3 p="">

summer slipping away

oh hey, so i’m alive i think…too much work, a week away (cali and disneyland for the first time ever), and then a ton more work. been trying not to fall asleep at, like, 6pm, as it means i wake up at random hours and have to force myself back to bed soon thereafter. new dolls came in, i fought with the post office, i have a ton of photos to process. drunk harry potter was a thing at an event. um…that’s all i can remember right now. i can’t believe it is already august. why is it already august? WHY??? 

i've not been very active here or anywhere really except for keeping up with my post a day on tumblr. there really hasn't been much going on in my life anyway. christmas was good, cons are coming up in march, work is work and has taken over my life. i'm slowly working on uncanny for this year as well. i had a three day weekend this weekend and didn't really accomplish anything. yeah, that's how awesome my life is. i've been accomplishing less in my life than when i was unemployed a year ago. such a cheery thought.

.:more after the jump:.

one year ago

one year ago i was out drinking with my coworkers saying goodbye. goodbye to the company that we had worked at for years, some longer than others. goodbye to our safe, comfortable lives. goodbye to the people that we had come to know and the work we liked. it was bittersweet and so we had a proper wake. we shared memories and stories, laughed and drank and ate. as much as i didn't like some of them, i still miss quite a few of the rest. i don't think anything was as sad as going in to work the next day as one of the transition team and having to deal with the interlopers. they were quiet and subdued as they took away the remnants of our livelihoods. the days that followed were too quiet, too somber.

i can't believe that it's been a year...more so, i can't believe that i miss that place so much.

falling apart

so it's been a little over a month since i last posted, but it has gone by so fast. my schedule now causes work to take up so much of my life that the days blur together. this is also the first weekend in a while that i haven't been out doing things. in the past month i've spent my weekends out and about seeing the tut exhibit, at doll meets, and at doll shows. i've been so busy on the weekends that i finally had to decide not to go anywhere this one. sadly, that meant i gave up going to steam-con yet again. but i won't be sad about that as going even for a day would have done more harm than good (i couldn't really move yesterday morning due to immense pain in my lower back - like, crippling pain).

.:more after the jump:.

just a quick note...

just a quick note to say that i'm still alive. i've not really been doing much other than looking for a new job, wasting time online, and reading books lately. there's a bunch of things i should probably do, but i just don't. that includes things that i really should have done some time ago but just can't seem to muster up the motivation for. the 21st marked year 4 come and gone. never did get around to taking year 3 pictures. anyway...

i am now older

tick tock goes the clock and i get older until it stops.

.:more after the jump:.

ch-ch-ch-changes

the past few months have been quite hectic and i can't believe that they're gone. the end of september seems like such a long time ago, and yet it feels like the interceding time has gone by in nearly the blink of an eye. there's so much that has happened...

.:more after the jump:.

of rocks

today started off like any other day: i woke up, was amazed that i didn't end up taking off the brace on my ankle during the night (for once), hated my alarm, stumbled around getting ready and headed out the door to work. the bus was on time, i got to work on time, i clocked in and started going about my normal routine. things were going well. nothing was out of the ordinary, really. then the hr manager stopped by and told everyone we were about to have an all-employee meeting.

.:more after the jump:.